The Most Difficult Message

Painted Poppy. Photo by Pauline DeForest

On Friday June 29 2012, at 5:05 P.M. I received a called that shattered my life as I know it. My partner of 31 on years had collapsed at work at the end of his shift. This set in motion a series of events that culminated in my partner’ death on July 1 2012 at 9.15 P.M..

While this doesn’t seem to be material for this blog, I have been writing, in these pages, about my experiences for over 7 years. I am deeply grateful for that body of work because it helped me in so many ways to  cope, and find grace in what was happening.

In hindsight  , the Universe had been preparing me for this event for the previous two weeks. Of course I couldn’t have known it then, but certainly looking back I can clearly see I was being given the tools to cope with this sudden and unexpected loss.

I had just finished reading the The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment by Eckhart Tolle.The material in the last few chapters talked about letting go, giving up resistance, living in the moment, and the nature of transformation. My partner and I had had two deep spiritual conversations just the week before, plus a few passing remarks that seem to foreshadow what was to come.

A friend of mine rushed me to the hospital where we arrived just as my partner arrived in the ambulance.

I reached our niece just as she was passing out of cell phone range to tell her the news. She returned the next day and was with me every step of the way after that. She was there at my side when one of her uncle  passed across to the other side. I could not have done the journey without her and she was an amazing support through it all.

Friends from our extended family rushed to get to my house to take me back to he hospital, later that first day,  and stayed  by my side during the first difficult hours as my partner clung to life.

Another friend arrived right after my partner’s death to stay a week with me and help me through some of the very difficult aftermath.

My son arrived the as well to be with me too. He was a godsend and a huge support.

That all these people were available to help me was a small miracle in itself because my three sisters were unavailable  as only 24 hours before my sister lost her partner as well.

But it is the last hour of my partner’s time with us I want to briefly describe. There is no way to express all of the emotions that where running though me, and my niece at the time.

My niece is a singer…and she sang some beautiful melodies to my partner as he fought for his life. And I told him the story of the land of magic and what he would see when he got there, and what to look for.( I will have that story available for you soon). He also had a small stuffed elephant…it being his spirit guide, who would be there to help him cross over.

While it was a painful, and heartbreaking moment it was also the most graceful and beautiful moment of my life.

Back here in the physical world I have a number of huge decisions to make. I have asked the Universe to guide me as I move forward. If you are open to the process, you will be open to receive the instructions you are sent. So in all situations I urge to look for the guidance that is always there.

While my life will change dramatically in the months ahead, I will continue to write and talk about the powerful inspiration of life itself, right here in this blog and anywhere else I can find a platform to talk about the magic of our existence in this magical mystical world.

With Love

Nick Grimshawe


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