You were the first thread of hope that awaited me … you made me constantly brave my suffocated tiny world which had strangled the little life left of me. A world flattened and squashed … where I’ve been battered, clattered and shattered. You came at just about the time when I was losing grip of the last remaining thread of hope: The time when I was already utterly derailed and trampled. My spirits were slain and my soul was shackled.
And then, somewhere, out of the remaining fraction of such lengthy bleak days, you were presented … and you had wiped a bit of anguish and pain in my wholeness. You were a godsend, a permanent gift from the gods … reminding me that faith did move my already trampled and desecrated mountain. No word could describe the immense gladness that I’ve known in my whole curtailed life. You gave me the courage to cling onto the last remaining breath of my wasted self … Brand Cialis duly wasted at a much younger phase. You then became my hope and faith … my only guiding line to immerse the tired self into borrowed golden moments, strongly overpowered by the grim and bleakest and solitary confinement: All momentarily replacing those times of anguish … in those days and decades of helplessness and hopelessness. I couldn’t thank you enough for that.
You wiped out as much sadness and replaced it with traces of exaltation and overwhelming joy. You were the only reminder of spring that brought life to my broken spirits. Switching off whenever I had the chance – to ponder on those wishful thoughts at every borrowed time, every stolen little instances were transformed into a magical ride, transcending from a numbed and battered self, jilted and wilted by lost time. You were the first joyful sight in my lingering desire to wake up in another chapter – switching off, regressing, and winding back. Inevitably real yet unreal, as concrete as the walls which liberally surrounded me,not even an echo would replicate the sound emanating from my lifeless soul and overly tired body. Yet there you were.
You came beyond the blue … showering me with tinges of pink and red. Another life, a bouncing life. You became my second … the first being long gone and extinguished fragile lifeline. You flickered like a tiny candle, faint yet strong enough to give me courage and once again hope that there is always a brighter side at the end of the tunnel. You gave me that last remaining thread of hope – that mountains can sometimes glance at faith. That in the end both can reach out to each other; that the tangible one will eventually be moved and shifted.
I owe you a lot. From the very start when I gave you life … the very start when you gave me one, in return. From the very beginning up to the end you were the end and the beginning of how I am … and was.
And the only reasonable reason to repay you is through this last remaining wish: A fervent wish, a fervour hope, a futile thought, a wish against all wishes, of a blissful eternal rest. Terminating the time and wiping away endless fountains of tears and mountain of fears, leaving all those behind to give way to a peaceful start, a new wave of pulsating life in the unknown. A beautiful sacred sleep… a blissful rest and serenity, of dancing jubilantly with the splendour of the sanctified self.
To Be continues
If you missed part one: http://beautifulsummermorning.com/2010/05/being-one-elisabeth-an-agony-of-a-slain-soul/
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- Dr. Judith Rich: Cycles and Seasons of a Soulful Life (huffingtonpost.com)