You Can Choose or Not

Photo by Pauline DeForest All Rights Reserved

Since we are just at the beginning of the New Year I thought this was a good time to talk about making a small change in our lives. This is a change I am embracing, and part of my Do Something Different List for 2012. You can download it and use it…in fact I do hope you use it. Place it at the front of the binder where you keep your daily gratitude sheet.

Here’s a quote to get us started on the subject.




“Few will have the greatness to bend history itself; but each of us can work to change a small portion of events, and in the total of all those acts will be written the history of this generation.

Source: Robert Francis Kennedy


No less a person than Robert Kennedy tells us that each one of us can make a difference, a huge difference, if we each contribute to changing conditions even in a small way.

The change I am suggesting , definitely one I have embraced over the last week or so is this: To change a single word we use over and over again, to one with a slightly different connotation which makes all the world of difference, and I believe will lead to big chances in your life and in the life of those around you.

The change is this. We change the word “have” to the word “choose”.

Here is what happens when you do that.

“I have to get up and go to work.”

“I choose to get up and go to work.”

“I have to cook supper for my family tonight.”

“I choose to cook supper for my family tonight.”

“I have to mow the lawn.”

“I choose to mow the lawn”

Do you see and more importantly, feel the difference?

It doesn’t seem like a huge change….except it changes the whole dynamic of what is happening. One word!

We use the “have to” words allot. We use it unconsciously. We use it even when we really mean “choose to”.

Like everything else it is a change of habit. Let me rephrase that: it is a change of an unconscious habit! As with any change it takes practice, persistence, and awareness.

I am reminded once again of my mentor Joe Dispenza who starts off his level one workshops with this quote: “Change is breaking the habit of being you.”

Maybe this seems insignificant to you, but let me assure you the change in words is profound.

Take the first example: have to go to work….choose to go to work. In the “have to” example we are compelled by a force outside of ourselves for which we have absolutely no control. We are forced…in some way to go to work. Now I hear you…if you don’t go to work you don’t get any money and if you don’t get any money no one in the household is eating. That is true for most of us. However, when we say “I choose to go to work”, we are taking control of our life.

We choose. We choose to go to work so we can put bread on the table and keep a roof over our heads. It is a whole lot more powerful to choose to do that than to have to do that. Doing something by choice is a higher vibrational tone, than have to. You are raising your tone to a higher level. You will see and feel the difference.

Here is a slightly different example and a different distinction.

In the past, I have quite often said, “I have to go write my newsletter.”

Here the statement is an out and out lie. I enjoy writing these newsletters and I simply do not “have to ” write them.

Yet in making that statement, I degrade my intent in a very significant way. I have implied that someone other than myself is forcing me to write these newsletters, which means I am not doing this voluntarily, that I am not writing to fulfill my life purpose.

When instead, I choose to go off to my office and write a newsletter, the intent is totally different and I have removed an unintended lie from my universe.

My challenge to you is to try this for a month, and see for yourself a difference this small change can bring into your life. You will have to stay on guard. You will utter those habitual words, “I have to”, but every time you catch yourself saying those words, stop yourself and rephrase your sentence with,”I choose to”.

 “Sometimes it’s the smallest decisions that can change your life forever.”

 Source: Keri Russell



Until We Meet Again:





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