What Are You Settling For?

messy office smallIt’s an interesting and fascinating question. Your mind immediately takes flight. You probably thought of a number of things right away…right off the top of your head. I know if I look down at the floor to my immediate right, by the paper shredder there is a
pile of paper waiting , patiently and very quietly for me to shred it. I’m settling for that. We all settle for things that are not what we would call our ideal scene.

Now before you start to voice your objections to what I am saying…lets keep this conversation to things that it are in our power to do something about.  There are things we settle for because of circumstances outside our immediate control. But of course in the end…if you believe as I do, that we are ultimately responsible for our lives and for what shows up in our lives…then for all those things we aren’t too thrilled to have in our lives…we have somehow brought them into our physical universe.

I think we have to start with the little things though. I’m a firm believer in taking it one step at a time…we don’t want to have too steep a gradient or we simply give up and fail. But we do have to take a step…and action step to actually look at the things we are settling for in our lives.

Jack Canfield has a great exercise for this and I recommend  you do it. Take a clip board and some sheets of paper and then walk around your house…or your office or even your car and write out a list of things you are settling for. I think the exercise might surprise you.

Now if you tackle one of those items at a time…starting with the easiest and working toward the largest ones you will begin to eliminate things you are settling for.

Now a word of warning here before you start.

This list is your list…and your list to work on. You can’t create this list and then go around telling people what you won’t settle for and they’d better step into line or else. No, no. no. This is…as it always is…100% about you. These are things you are settling for within yourself, not some other person’s  baggage.

As an example, I have this expectation of how I want my kitchen to look when I come down in the morning and turn on the light. I raged and carried on about this for ages…expecting others should understand and make the kitchen the way I wanted it to look in the morning. As you can imagine, it was a losing battle…until the day I decided I needed to take responsibility and set and maintain that standard myself. It was after all “my standard”.

This goes for everything in your life. If you have a relationship that isn’t working and you find yourself settling for less that what you really want…you can’t ask the other person in your life to change to suit your ideal. You need to look within yourself to find the cause of your dissatisfaction. Perhaps you are with the wrong partner…or perhaps instead you are attempting to mold some one you love into someone they aren’t and in the process, destroying the very thing about them that you loved.

But lets keep it to simpler things for now. Lets focus on things, physical universe objects that we are settling for…for  some obscure reasons beyond our veil.

One by one tackle those things , those physical universe things and see what happens to your mood, emotions and feelings as you slowly cross items off your list. You will also be surprised what transpires in other people’s universes…especially where they intersect with yours.

I won’t spoil the surprise by spelling it out here…enough is to stay when you stop settling…amazing things will happen.

Here’s the quote:

“I also remember the moment my life changed, the moment I finally said, ”I’ve had it! I know I’m much more than I’m demonstrating mentally, emotionally, and physically in my life’.’ I made a decision in that moment which was to alter my life forever. I decided to change virtually every aspect of my life. I decided I would never again settle for less than I can be.”

Source: Anthony Robbins

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