The Beautiful Summer Morning Diary of Noy: Morning Girl

Time to build a framework of friendship again. New era, new beginning. College made us completely separated -

Juliet took up Anthropology while I finished Advertising. Three and a half decades and nothing had changed. I’m now in the tropical part of the down under. She chilled it out in a much colder place. Nevertheless, despite our (still) busy separated lives, we’re still in touch - by wire or by mail. Very much intact!

We hear old favourites enough to make us stop and slide back… lost somewhere in time, and get embedded with such surges of precious recollections…. those unforgettable moments. You are adrift … afloat…. and magically suspended in time. Time to ponder on events that drew big impacts on our strengths and weaknesses. Time to watch that stage play where we were once a mere character…. and your friend, a key player.

The Lettermen’s “Morning Girl” played a big role in one of those extraordinary experiences I shared with my dear girlfriend - Helen. She was 2 years my senior and when I started the university, hers was the first welcoming face that greeted me with warm arms. It’s like we knew each other completely - within and without. (We could have been sisters or partners in the previous life). She became my guiding path, my raw model, my backbone, and shadow. We grew roots in that house (we both lived far from the city and had to stay in a boarding house). Together with good close friends, we enjoyed our years immensely and to the fullest (of fun, carefree attitude and doing silly stuff). We were truly inseparable - we visited friends together, and visited our respective families together. The bond was so strong; we were like Eng and Weng. We knew exactly what the other one would want to say (if you get stuck and run out of words). So tuned in! We were both obsessed with almost same music, read similar books, loved the same parks (Walled City was our favourite). We always marvelled and enjoyed sitting in our favourite bench to the tune of some soft classical music as background, facing the scattered fountains which shoot up and change colors as the music descend or ascend to its heights. It’s like watching an orchestra playing their instruments in very fragmented shadows. It’s so solemn you feel as if you’re in attendance to a mass service outside of the church. Having fully saturated and satisfied the serene feelings, we stroll with no haste just to be able to peacefully sniff the multi-scented frangipanis and partake once more with the tranquility of the place. Lush green, old but regal trees with little sprouts implying that it’s still at its rich stage. Beautiful scent of spent blooms scattered and adorning the grounds. Such beautiful memories. It’s a real treasure….

I couldn’t think of anything better than those times…. times of pure innocence and fragile emotions. How would I define the friendship like? If I were a man, the two of us would have been perfect lovers, and would have eventually got married. Crazy stuff but in all honesty, that was the strange fact. Good memories. Faded…. but good old memories.

Of course, we all know that there is nothing permanent on this earth except change itself. In this stage we are just part of an episode in a play and we have to bow out, somehow. In the dreamland of flowers and lullaby of contentment, the play has to end. We have to face the harsh reality of life. And we have to accept it… painstakingly!

Life must have been a bore. Helen decided to get out of the play, explore further… and fall in love. College became secondary and was put aside. The heart dominated the brain. She then moved on and started a young family.

I was completely left off-balanced… so inconsolable… in aguish. I felt abandoned and in my young fragile mind, I felt so helpless and lost. My other half was a mess. No amount of encouragement from friends made me settle down. I felt so alone for so long and it took me years to get over with it. Each day greeted me with pangs of aloneness, in solitude.

Frequenting those memorable places didn’t help. They made things worst. She was the moon, which accompanied me in my darkest days. I saw her in the petals each time I go for an evening walk, the dewdrops which sprouts its moisture on my bare feet, in the leaves shading me from scorching sun, she was the soothing oil which takes away the stresses and pressures of the day. She was my consoling factor each time I face the tribulations of life. The feeling was like losing your half part. She was half-the-spirit who I lived with, half-the soul who I dreamed with, half-the heart who I sang with. I felt so alone for so long and it took me years to get over with it. That “morning girl” symphony helped me cope a great deal. Ces’t la vie…

I finally got over the emotional child in me. A quite different scenario followed. I became the stage and the world was at my feet. Two wonderful souls brought a different perspective in my life.

Smiling…I am,

Noy