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5 Tips for Living a More Congruent Life

BeFunky_thisnewday.jpg Congruency is defined in the dictionary as: the quality or state of agreeing, coinciding, or being congruent.

So a congruent life is one that is lived more fully in agreement with your purpose and your dream. The more you align all your actions with that purpose and your dream the easier it becomes to manifest that purpose and dream in the world. When your thoughts and deeds align then you are congruent internally and externally.



For most of us this is a difficult feat. Quite often we find ourselves in conflict with something in our lives which leaves us feeling frustrated, overwhelmed and stressed out. We feel like  something essential is missing and we cast about looking for the cause while seldom taking a minute to reflect on our actions to figure out whether what we are doing really furthers our purpose and goals.

Working to a more congruent life will increase your component of happiness and satisfaction, along with a feeling of self-confidence.

Here are five tips to help you build congruence into your life.

1.Understand your life purpose and your dream.

Your life purpose and your dream are closely linked. Your dream is an expression of your purpose. Take time each day to think about your dream, visualize it, taste it, sleep with it, make love to it, until your dream is as intimate to you as the caresses of your lover.

2. Think Strategically

Are your goals, targets,and  action plans designed with one purpose: to help you live your purpose? Are the roles you play fed by the same dream?

Sometimes we fail to see the link between a role and our purpose in life, they seem incongruent to us. A little thought and reflection can bring that role into alignment. Perhaps you might need to shift your view-point on being a mother or a father to bring how you play the role into alignment.

This is often a challenge for women who find the roll of motherhood in conflict with their career aspirations. Where there is conflict your find misalignment. Take some time exploring both roles. Look for commonalities between the roles. Look at how conventional thinking about one of the roles might be coloring your thinking.

3. Ask Before You Act

“How does this action further my purpose and my dream?” List out the ways your action will move you closer to realizing your dream. Check your premise. Does this idea, action, thought really fit my purpose or does it just fulfill a whim, a fancy, a desire to be like someone else or even just a way to get someone off your back. Saying yes when you know you should say no, falls into this category. Sometime saying yes, is a lot easier. Unfortunately a simple yes, can derail you for hours, days, and weeks.

4. Plan Your Day

Don’t sit down to work without a written daily action plan in front of you. Focus on 3 to 5 things you are going to actually get done today, Make sure each step aligns with a goal. Then stay focused on that list tenaciously. Block distractions ruthlessly. Email, unscheduled visitors, the habits that kick in when you find the going tough. Have a reward ready when you complete the list.

5. Conflict Means Misalignment

When you find yourself struggling, getting frustrated, feeling like you want to quit, you are in conflict in some way with the essential nature of your purpose and dream.

This doesn’t mean you’ve failed, its simply a sign from the universe to stop and check what you are doing. It’s easy to get sidetracked. There are so many attractive bells and whistles calling us down a different path.

Finding yourself in conflict simply means it’s time to check an assumption, look at situation with  dream and purpose in mind, discover what hidden programs are driving you off purpose.

If you can’t spot where the conflict lies, ask for help. Talk to someone with a similar dream, or a coach and mentor, or ask a friend to see if they can spot what isn’t aligned.

Outside eyes see far more clearly than our own at times.

The magic begins to happen as you align your whole being to your purpose and dream.

Answers will come, teachers will arrive, coaches will find you. All the resources you need to manifest your dream will begin to show up in your life.

It’s worth the challenge to seek congruence in all you do, internally and externally.

It is a universal principle that you get more of what you think about, talk about, and feel strongly about.  Jack Canfield




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